How to Get a Baby to Sleep

1. Start with a baby who has just eaten.  This will make her full and sleepy, which should make the process go easier.

2. Burp the sleepy baby.  If you are lucky, she will stay asleep while you are burping her.

3. Before putting her to bed, you will need to change the baby's diaper, and possibly put her into pajamas.  This will piss her off, making sure that she is wide awake and unhappy, negating the effects of a full belly.

4. Swaddle the crying baby tightly in a blanket to make her feel snug and secure.  This should help her calm down again

5.  Proceed to the Established Sleep Inducing Area, in our case, the reclining rocker loveseat that is upstairs.  It is best to have the blinds closed and the lights off, but make sure there is a nightlight that sheds just enough light to tell if her eyes are open or closed.

6.  Determine which Body Position the baby is most amenable to at this point in time.  While having her lie on her back with her head in the crook of your arm, with your elbow supported by the armrest, is the most comfortable position for you, she will most likely want to be upright, with her ear against your chest.  This position is very sweet, but without any support, your arm will tire out quickly.  Whichever position she chooses, ensure that you can see her face.

7.  Determine which Soothing Motion the baby currently prefers: rocking, patting, bouncing, or a combination of those.  Again, while rocking is the easiest on you, she will probably want to be bounced, which guarantees your unsupported arm will be cramping up very quickly.

8.  Insert the World's Best Pacifier, aka your left index finger, into the baby's mouth.  Be sure to have it inverted, with the pad tucked against the roof of her mouth, for maximum effect.

9.  With the baby in her preferred Body Position, and the World's Best Pacifier in place, maintain a steady rhythm of Soothing Motion while watching for her eyes to close.  You will see the lids begin to droop, and eventually they will close all the way. 

10.  As soon as they close the first time, they will pop wide open again.  This will be repeated at least a few dozen times.  At least half a dozen times, the eyes popping open will be accompanied by squirming, spitting out the World's Best Pacifier, and/or crying.  The squirming will completely undo the swaddling blanket, and the baby reserves the right to suddenly change her choice of preferred Body Position and Soothing Motion at any time, without prior notice, so repeat steps 4-8 as needed.  In serious cases of crying, you may leave the Established Sleep Inducing Area to pace with her until she has calmed back down enough to proceed with step 4.

11.  You may try to lead by example, allowing your own eyes to slowly droop and eventually close completely.  However, I guarantee that they will also suddenly pop open again when you realize you are accidentally falling asleep and might drop the baby, and hers will still be wide open when they do.

12.  Eventually, you will see her eyes close completely and stay closed.  Wait at least 30 seconds without changing anything to be sure she is actually asleep -- 60 to 90 seconds is even better.

13.  Once a long enough period of closed eyes has been established, begin to think about removing the World's Best Pacifier, without changing anything else.  Sucking may actually increase just after the eyes close, so wait until there is a minimum of 15 seconds between sucks, and remove the Pacifier between sucks for best results.  If the eyes pop open again once the Pacifier is removed, return to step 4.

14.  Once the World's Best Pacifier has been successfully removed, maintain Soothing Motion for at least 60 seconds.  If the eyes remain shut, attempt cessation of the Soothing Movement, without changing Body Position.  If the eyes pop open when the Soothing Movement stops, return to step 4.

15.  If the eyes remain shut for 60 seconds without the World's Best Pacifier and Soothing Movement, then you can think about putting her into the Approved Sleeping Place, namely her bassinet, which is in the next room.

16.  There are two tricky transitions that you now need to make: your transition from Sitting to Standing, and her transition from Vertical to Horizontal.  Begin by maintaining her Body Position as much as possible, as you gently stand up.  Make sure you have one hand under her head, and one under her butt before attempting the Sitting to Standing maneuver. 

17.  If you make it to Standing with the eyes still closed, proceed slowly and gently towards the Approved Sleeping Place.  You will need to pass through the Sleeping Dog Obstacle Course to get there.  This obstacle course will change nightly, so be alert.

18.  Once you have successfully navigated the Obstacle Course and you are standing next to the Approved Sleeping Place, you need to manage her Vertical to Horizontal transition.  Support the head and butt as you maneuver her into a horizontal position.  If you screw up this transition, you will need to return to step 4.

19.  Place her gently in the bassinet, placing the butt down first, then her head.  Slip your hands out from under her, then wait 60 seconds to ensure that the eyes don't pop open again.  If the eyes do pop open, you may be able to get her back to sleep in the bassinet by deploying an Emergency World's Best Pacifier, with optional Soothing Pats.  But you'll probably have to return to step 4.

20.  If the eyes stay closed, feel free to crawl into bed next to her bassinet.  She will be sure to let you know when her eyes pop open again.  Repeat procedure every 2-4 hours.

Total Time: 45-90 minutes
Yield: 1 sleeping baby

Quick Baby Gift

A wonderful baby present that I was given recently was a little Minnie Mouse blankie.  It is absolutely adorable!

When my friend M saw it, she immediately thought that her little girl, who is about 6 months old, might be really into a little blankie like that right now.  Since I knew we were getting together soon, I decided to knit her a bunny blanket buddy from a pattern I had used before.

I grabbed a skein of hot pink chunky yarn flecked with rainbow colors, and took a look at the pattern.  There was no gauge listed, but I wanted to be sure the blankie stayed manageably-sized for a little one, and that I wouldn't run out of yarn.  I basically eyeballed how big I wanted it to be, which required having to rip out and redo a few sections, but it was still a very quick project.  I like that the pattern starts from the bottom corner and moves up, with yarn-over eyelets along the edge for a little bit of detail.  The knotted hands are very easy to manage, and while the directions for knitting the ears feels very strange, I like the angle they make from the head, and the fact that mine always curl in opposite directions for a little personality.  And embroidering the cute face was a cinch.

Considering how much time it spent in M's little girl's mouth, I think it was a hit!

More Things That Surprised Me About Being Pregnant

I certainly didn't think I knew everything about being pregnant before it happened to me, but I thought I had a good handle on things.  And then some general assumptions of mine about what pregnancy is like were completely blown out of the water.

1) Pregnant bellies are much more sensitive than non-pregnant bellies.  This simply never occurred to me.  I figured a belly was a belly.  However, when you gain weight, and your belly gets bigger, the additional weight is mostly located on the outside of the abdominal wall.  When you are pregnant, all of the increase is happening inside the abdominal wall -- which means that, when you press on that belly, you are pressing the baby right up against your internal organs.  It's not like pressing against a regular belly, that has the usual amount of room between those organs.  So being able to sleep on my stomach, or wear too-tight jeans, has a completely different dimension of discomfort to it than I had previously expected.  And speaking of internal organs...

2) Developing babies kick in all directions.  Again, simply something that hadn't occurred to me before.  I tended to think of kicks being aimed exclusively outward, towards the abdominal wall.  Sure, I had heard of babies kicking their moms in the bladder in the later stages of pregnancy, but my little one actually spent day 2 of noticeable kicking using my bladder as a speed bag for about half an hour.  It wasn't disastrous, but it was certainly uncomfortable.  And since then, I have been kicked in the bowels, in various other organs, and, most uncomfortably, in the cervix.  Yes, the baby can kick downward and hit that very sensitive body part from the inside -- a distinct and exceptionally uncomfortable sensation.

3) Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions commonly begin as early as the seventh month of your pregnancy.  I had heard of Braxton-Hicks, but only in association with the last week or two of pregnancy -- I had no idea that your uterus can start "practicing" for the big show three whole months before the baby is due.  The connection between these contractions and giving birth was so strong in my mind, when the doctor identified what I had experienced in these terms, I felt like suddenly we were completely out of time and the baby would be here next week, which sent me into a complete panic for a few days.  I've (mostly) gotten over than now, but that reality check definitely kicked our preparations into high gear.

4) Along with increased gas production comes a decreased ability to sneak one discretely.  I have mentioned the fact that, along with everything else horrible your hormones do to you when you're pregnant, one of them is increase the amout of gas your body produces.  As a girl, I was a pro at either holding gas in indefinitely, or silently passing it little at a time.  No longer.  I have no idea if it's a matter of higher internal pressures, changes in external anatomy, or a loosening of the sphincter that comes along with the loosening of joints and whatnot, but it is much more difficult to manage my gas quietly these days.  Which is unfortunate, since I have to spend a signifiant amount of my days presenting in front of a class for 50 minutes at a time, where I can't simply slip out to the restroom for some privacy.  Last week, I had two audible toots escape during the first hour of class, despite my best efforts;  thank goodness my students were willing to follow my lead and act as through absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  (And, finally, the training I received in Kyrgyzstan to show absolutely no reaction when little boys threw whipper-snapper fireworks at my feet came in handy again!)

5) You will never in your life be asked so frequently and by so many people, "How are you feeling?"  As a woman, I fear that I have been amiss in not constantly asking the pregnant woman I have been in contact with how they were feeling.  For that, I apologize.  I simply didn't understand that the symptoms of pregnancy become an overwhelming preoccupation.  Even now, I'm not sure that I completely empathize with the sentiment, as I have been extraordinarily lucky so far and have managed to escape many of the discomforts of pregnancy.  At first, I found it somewhat annoying to be asked how I felt all the time, since I clearly felt just fine.  Then, I began to feel guilty, since I still clearly felt just fine.  Now I am prepared for the question, and I feel grateful that I can still answer, "Good!"  I also hedge my bets by letting everyone know that, while I have been very, very lucky so far, I am sure that I will pay for it later on.  Whether that payment comes due during labor, the terrible twos, or the teenaged years, I am sure that I will somehow have to pay heftily for an almost complete lack of morning sickness, and the ability to stay in my pre-pregnancy jeans until almost the end of my sixth month.

6) Maternity clothes suck.  Despite the fact that I live in the state with the highest birth rate in the entire US, it is incredibly difficult to find maternity clothes.  You are lucky to find 2 or 3 racks of clothes in the maternity section, with 2 styles of pants and 5 or 6 styles of shirts, assuming the store that you are in even HAS a maternity section.  And they do cruel things like putting it next to the petites section, or, hilariously, right next to the prom dresses.  And to add insult to injury, even in discount stores, the clothes in the maternity section are never discounted, meaning you pay an arm and a leg for clothes that have a limited window to be worn.  (Although, it has been pointed out to me that I will need to keep wearing those maternity clothes for several months after giving birth, another point I had not really considered before, so the window won't be quite as short as I had imagined.)  As for comfort, if you opt for full-coverage like I did, the top of the pants come up to your armpits, while the belly panel is cut so low it starts at your crotch, so you are forced to wear maternity shirts with them, because other shirts simply aren't cut long enough to preserve the illusion that you are wearing mormal jeans.  In my case, I also need a belly band to keep my pants from slipping down, which means another layer of elastic over my belly, and then, in our chilly March weather, a long shirt under a sweater.  The pants are constantly slipping down and taking my underwear with them, but I need to pull them up from the armpits, while simultaneously tugging my shirts down to ensure full belly coverage.  I wish the weather and my job would allow me to walk around with a few inches of cute, pregnant belly hanging out, but that's simply out of the question.  The whole process is so annoying, I have started only wearing real pants when I need to leave the house, and living in pajama bottoms and yoga pants the rest of the time.

Shopping for maternity clothes!

I am sure that there are more revelations to come in the next few months, and I will be sure to share them with you.  For now, I can simply ask, what unexpected surprises did preganncy hold for you?

A Belated Knitted Tortoise

I just downloaded some photos from my camera and discovered that I had never posted about this project that I did back in January.

My second job is for the Society for the Study of Amphibians and Reptiles, and my boss, B, is an awesome guy.  So I decided that I needed to knit him something as a Christmas present, and I decided that something needed to be Piecrust the Tortoise.

I was drawn to the pattern because of the three-dimensional nature of the shell.  What I didn't realize was that the bumps were created by embroidering the whole damned thing.  Or that he would have so many pieces to put together!  Body, head, tail, front and back feet, top and bottom of upper shell, and a double-thick undershell all needed to be sewed together correctly.  But the cool thing is the body is one piece, which is then sandwiched between the upper, domed shell and a flat "pancake" lower shell, so that you could, theoretically pull his little body out of the shell.

I kinda screwed up the picot edge on the upper shell, since it was the first time I'd ever done one and I didn't understand the concept at first, but otherwise I think he came out pretty good.  The shell wasn't as bumpy as the original, but I was still pretty happy with how he turned out.

Then it occurred to me that my boss is not the kind of person who likes having random decorative thingies laying around.  But I also remembered that he has two 10-year-old kids.  He seemed to like the tortoise, but the next day I found out that my hunch about his kids had paid off.  His daughter absolutely LOVED it.  Yay!

Finger puppet fun

Sorry I haven't been posting on here much -- being pregnant has got my energy levels a little lower than usual, and my class schedule has me pretty busy this term.  But I do have a little knitting project I just finished that I thought I'd write about.

I made finger puppets for my little cousin for Christmas, and they were such a hit with the family, my mom requested I make some more for her to give as gifts to a friend's two boys.  The only patterns I have are for a mouse and an octopus, but she wanted 4 altogether.  So I thought about the variations I could make on those patterns, and came up with an elephant and a goldfish.  While the ideas came strictly from the original shapes, it was nice that they created thematic pairs, too.

Elephant and mouse

Octopus and goldfish

All of the finger puppets start on a cone-shaped base.  The mouse simply adds big ears and a tail, and then you embroider on the face.  I made his nose a little too big, and I set his ears a bit too low, but I still think he's cute.

For the elephant, I made a trunk by starting with a wider strip than the tail, put in a few rows of ribbing for the bend, slowly decreased, and then finished it off by casting off the final stitches to make a wide end instead of a pointed tip like the mouse tail.  The ears have just a few more rows than the mouse ears, making them a little wider, and I sewed more of the base to the head to make them more stable, and turned them wrong-side out for variety.  Then I added tusks by copying the decreases from the mouse tail to make them pointy.  And the eyes are just embroidered.

For the octopus, you start with the cone shape, and then instead of decreasing for the tip, you increase to make the round head and stuff it.  Then you knit 8 separate legs, sew them on, and finish with an embroidered face again.  In the original, you make the finger cone the same color as the octopus, but I decided to do his in blue this time.

The inspiration for the blue cone was the fact that there weren't going to be any legs to hide it on the goldfish.  I followed the same pattern, then knit a wide-based tail that increased, and three triangular fins.  I wanted the tail to be frilly, which I have done on a neck ruffle, doubling the stitches every row for a few rows.  However, the yellow yarn I was using was a finer gauge than the rest, and I couldn't seem to make it work right when I doubled the yarn, so after 4 or 5 tries I just did all the fins in garter stitch.  Then I embroidered on the lips and the eyes.

Personally, I think they all came out pretty good.  But I'll have to wrack my brain to come up with more animals next time!

Christmas knitting

As usual, I was a busy knitter for Christmas this year.  I made presents for several people, and had a lot of fun doing it.

I started with an addition to the knitted nativity scene I started for my mom last year. I got the original patterns from Running Jack Knits, and adapted them this year. The wise men were just variations on the pattern for Joseph.

Full wise men set

I started with this guy. I obviously made his skin dark brown, and his beard black.  Then I did a robe in brown and white yarn, which came out a little too long because I was using two yarns at once and didn't think to asjuct the pattern.  I knitted a long, flat piece in white, which I then wrapped around his head as a turban and sewed on.  I skipped the sleeves on his clothing, and made a gold bottle by knitting a very small tube in the round, and then decreasing and finishing the top few rows as I-cord.  I then stitched the bottle to his hands.

Balthasar, the Arab Wise man



The next one I decided to make in shades of purple, with beige skin and a white beard, and I just switched to purple yarn to finish his head, instead of making the hat a separate piece.  I made his cloak pretty short.  He ended up looking like a wizard, so I did some gold embroidery on his hat, but I'm not sure it really helped that much.  For the box, I made it like some of the baby booties I have knit before: I did a small garter stitch rectangle, then picked up stitches around all 4 edges and worked them in stockinette stitch for a few rows to make the sides, and finally finished by knitting in garter stitch from one short end, picking up the side stitches by using K2TOG at the edge of each row, and I think I closed the end with a kitchener stitch.  It ended up a little big, but it works.

Melchior, the Persian wise man

 For the last wise man, I went with beige skin and a brown beard, orange clothes, and a green and white striped cloak with a braided white belt.  I knit a miniature hat with a white rolled edge and an extended pointed tip, but it ended up pretty big for his little head.  When I sewed it on, I added a lot of extra stitches to try and shape it the way I liked it.  I made him a silver bottle, which started the same as the gold bottle, but I wrapped the yarn a few times around the neck instead of doing I-cord, for variation.

Caspar, the Indian wise man

The hardest part was the camel -- I couldn't find a camel pattern that looked like it would come out to the right size for this set, so I started with the donkey pattern, and just winged it.  It starts from the butt, so I added a bunch of increases to one side of the tube, and then decreased back down, and was pretty successful with the hump.  I tried increases on one side and decreases on the other to make the long neck bend, but it didn't really go the way I wanted it to.  I then did the head, with more shaping to get the big nose, and I think that worked out pretty well.  I then picked up a few stitches on either side of the head to make the ears, did two long, fat I-cords for the front legs and just sewed them to the sides (this yarn was very forgiving for that kind of thing), and pretended he didn't need back legs.  A few pieces of yarn threaded through the butt and braided together made a cute tail that you can't see.  I did a lot of stitching to get the neck curved the way I wanted it (again, thank goodness for knobbly yarn), made a little seed stitch blanket that I just sewed onto his back, and used a single strand of the same yarn for the harness and reins.  Scale-wise he's a little big for the wisemen, especially his head, but I'm still happy with him.

the requisite wise man transportation device

My next gift was something small and easy for my cousin's little girl, who is just about two.  I have made the mouse and octopus from my Toys to Knit book before, but I think I like my yarn choices a little bit better this time around.  According to my mom, these finger puppets were a big hit with my family at Christmas.

Finger puppets

The last item was a quick project so that I would have an extra gift for my dad, and I am honestly quite disappointed with how it turned out, but it's all my fault.  I found a web site called ODDknit with patterns for fossils, and decided to make the trilobite for my dad.  He has one on his desk, and they are one of his favorite fossils.  However, my first mistake was choosing my yarn badly; the grey I picked for the body of the fossil was slightly speckled and very matte, so the trilobite body pattern doesn't stand out well.  I am okay with my use of thick-and-thin tan yarn for the rock, which adds texture.  But the biggest mistake was how I picked up the stitches.  It was very difficult to see the pattern as I was trying to pick the stitches up around the edges, so that was a pain to begin with.  Once it was done, I realised I had been holding my knitting the wrong way as I picked up the stitches, a common problem for me, so that if I now started knitting in the round, the square edges of the swatch that are supposed to end up inside the rock would be on the outside.  I basically started knitting by taking the yarn in the opposite direction I'd been working in, but that left me with an odd outline around my trilobite, instead of the smooth transition from fossil to rock that should be there.

crappy trilobite

I am honestly tempted to try it again with different yarn, and picking up the stitches correctly.  Maybe for my dad's birthday or something.

There is one more project I am still working on, but I'll show that to you guys when I'm done with it.  So, what did you knit this year for Christmas?

The Unexpected

Maybe I haven't paid close attention, but before I got pregnant, I only knew about a few typical symptoms of early pregnancy.  There's morning sickness, of course -- which I knew didn't have to be limited to mornings, and didn't necessarily have to end after the first trimester.  And then I knew your boobs got bigger and very sensitive.  And I knew that during the first trimester, women tend to be very tired in the afternoons. 

Well, I got incredibly lucky with the morning sickness -- I had 3 or 4 incidents where, out of the blue, I would suddenly think I might throw up, but after a minute or two of some serious burping, I would be fine.  But my mom didn't have any morning sickness when she was pregnant with my sister, and I tend to take after her when it comes to women stuff, so I had been prepared for that.  My boobs didn't get a lot bigger, but they were definitely sore.  And I sure did want a nap in the afternoons!

But there are a bunch of other symptoms that no one warned me about.  In fact, in some cases, I wouldn't have even known they were connected to my pregnancy if it wasn't for my copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting.

Thirst
I knew that you needed to stay hydrated during your first trimester, but I had no idea how thirsty I would be all the time!  It got to the point where I made sure to walk around with a water bottle in my hand at all times, so I wouldn't be constantly looking for a water fountain.  I looked like some kind of eco-conscious fitness fanatic.

Peeing
Yeah, it seems like a logical conclusion that, if you are drinking all the time, you will be peeing all the time.  But I seemed to be peeing out twice as much as I was putting in!  I expected to have a tiny tank at the end of my pregnancy, but not at the beginning.

Gas
Yup, not only would I look like a water buffalo soon, I get to start smelling like one right away.

Stuffy Nose and Nosebleeds
Considering the time of year, I started thinking I had a cold, but a very mild one.  Then I noticed it seemed worse in bed, so I thought maybe it was allergies.  Then when I'd blow my nose in the shower in the morning, I'd often see a spot of blood, which is really strange for me -- I have never had a full-blown nosebleed in my life.  Turns out, all my mucous membranes are swelling and softening right now, as my cervix starts prepping for this kid to get here.  It's bad enough when my nose decides to get involved when I eat spicy food -- now it's got to try copying my cervix, too?

Popping Ears
Even though T has a CPAP machine now, I am still in the habit of wearing earplugs every night.  I noticed that one of my ears started making popping noises when I would yawn or swallow.  I worried that it was an ear infection, but there was no pain or pressure.  Shouldn't have worried -- apparently, my eustacian tubes are trying to copy my nose and cervix.  Not very original.

Being a Klutz
I had heard of pregnancy brain, but not pregnancy hands.  I find myself dropping things more often than usual, which should mean that my reflexes are bad, but somehow, I can often catch them as they are falling.  So I'm like some kind of klutzy Catwoman.

The Dreams
I had heard of pregnant women having strange sex dreams, but I wasn't prepared for the fact that ALL of my dreams have been weird.  I'm someone who has a lot of vivid dreams to begin with, and I tend to look to them to see what is stewing around in my subconscious.  But these days, I just assume that my subconscious is playing Mad Libs, because nothing makes sense to me.

Did you have any other unexpected symptoms when you were pregnant?

Homemade Christmas Present Idea

I have been neglecting this blog since I got pregnant, but I thought I would post something I made recently, in case anyone needed a quick, inexpensive Christmas present idea.  I made these as a housewarming present for my sister, who is a rhino keeper at the North Carolina Zoo.  You can choose whatever you'd like for your theme.

I was trying to come up with a practical housewarming gift that she could use, and I thought of kitchen towels.  But I decided to personalize them by using fabric markers.

The whole process was pretty simple.  I went online and looked for free clip art of rhinos (I went for free clip art because I wouln't be violating any copyright laws, and I thought I could find simple line drawings that would be easy to transfer to fabric).  I found 4 .jpg images of 4 different species of rhino:

white rhino

black rhino

Javan rhino

Indian rhino

The pictures had a lot of detail, but I thought I could get the outlines traced simply.  Then I picked up flour sack kitchen towels (a pack of 5 at Shopco was under $5) because they were plain with a smooth fabric.  I went to Michael's and got an iron-on transfer pencil, fabric markers, and picked up a plain apron that they also had in the fabric section.  At home, I had the rest of the items I would need: pins, an iron and ironing board, the printed rhino pictures, and some sandpaper.  I also printed out a simple sun from my Word clip art to use as my test subject on the fifth towel, which would be mine.

Supplies

The process was pretty simple, if a little time-consuming due to the amount of detail in the pictures I had chosen.  I would hold the printed picture up to the window on our back door so that I could trace the design from the front of the paper onto the back with the transfer pencil (if you have a light table, it would do the same job without making your arms tired!).  Then I would go over the tracing again at the table, to make sure I had a good, heavy pencil line.  This required a lot of sharpening of the transfer pencil, to make sure I had a good line all the way around that didn't get too thick.

 

Next, I would cut out the paper design with a tab at the top, and use the tab to pin the design on the fabric, printed side up.  Having the printed design visible on the front made it easy to see exactly where it would be lined up.  I followed the directions for the transfer pencil, using a hot, no-steam setting on the iron and running over the design for a few minutes until it transferred, being very careful not to shift the paper while I was ironing.  With the pin holding it in place, it was easy to carefully turn up one corner to see if the lines were dark enough, without shifting the paper, and then go over it some more if necessary.  I used the white rhino twice, once on a towel and once on the apron, which just required going over the lines on the back of the paper with the pencil a second time, to make sure the design would transfer to a new piece of fabric.

Ironing the transfer

When it was done, the pink transfer lines on the fabric were still often a little faint, so having the picture to refer to made tracing the correct lines a little easier.  I would then pick the color of marker I wanted, and very carefully trace over the transfer lines on the fabric.  Smoothing the fabric over a piece of sandpaper before I started helped keep it from sliding around and bunching up as I worked.  I did need to keep an eye on the tip of the marker, which would eventually start to wear down and shed, making my lines less crisp.  But I could just pull off the loosened fuzz once near the end of each picture and that seemed to work just fine.  I would then go over the main outline of the design one more time with the marker, to make those lines a little heavier than the details.

Finished rhinos with front and back of paper showing

I even found, with my test design, that it was easy to color in the design with a second color, which didn't try to bleed outside the outline.

My colored-in sun

I let them dry completely overnight, and then, even though the markers said it wasn't necessary, I ran the iron over the designs again for a few minutes to try and heat set the colors, so they wouldn't fade in the wash.  To be safe, I ironed the backside of the fabric to make sure the iron didn't smear the ink, and put a piece of paper between my ironing board and the design, but the ink didn't transfer to the paper.  I haven't washed mine yet, so I don't know how well this process worked.

Heat setting the ink



So there you go: an easy, homemade Christmas project!  Even with the amount of detail involved in the rhinos, I got all five transfers plus my sun done in a long afternoon.  I imagine if you had a simple design to work with, it could all go very quickly.  It does require a steady hand, but that is all: no natural artistic talent is required. 

Me and Princess Kate

The fact that the royal couple, William and Kate, are expecting a child is all over the news these days.  I feel a little bit of a bond with Kate Middleton, because we were thinking about kids at the same time, and now we're both pregnant.

I remember reporters asking the couple, on the day they announced their engagement in November of 2010, about whether or not they would have kids.  I remember that Kate quickly looked down and away, while Prince William fielded the first question, and my heart just broke for her.  As the interview continued, she said something about hoping they would have a large family, and I imagined that she was thinking the exact same thing that I was.

T and I had gotten married in June, and people immediately started asking us about kids.  I was 35 and while T and I had always talked about having kids, I was worried that it might not be possible for me to get pregnant.  While Kate was only 28, I imagined that she had the exact same fears as I did, especially considering the weight of an entire nation expecting her to produce a royal heir.

Then the waiting game began.  For both of us.  Once they had been married, tabloids were constantly looking to see if Kate was drinking water instead of wine, holding something in front of her tummy to hide it, any sign they could imagine of a secret pregnancy.  We couldn't start trying right away, because we had decided on a scuba diving honeymoon in February 2011, and you can't dive if you're pregnant.  Then they day after we got back, I was laid off from my job, and our plans were put on hold again.  In the shock of my layoff, we missed the COBRA window, and had to wait another year before I could be added to T's health insurance.  Even when I found a new job, it was part-time, with no benefits.  And then, very fortunately, in October of 2011, T got a new job with good healthcare benefits, we were both on his insurance right away, and we could get started.

Almost.  Since I had been using an IUD, I had to wait two months after it was out before we could have unprotected sex, just in case.  A friend had started just a few months before us, and she got pregnant with her third child quickly.  I thought, ok, in 2-3 months, we'll be all set.

But we weren't.  Every 28 days, like clockwork, there was my period again.  Once we hit the 6 month mark, we went back to the doctor.  They did a bunch of tests, mostly on me (T got to have some fun with a little cup), and while there was some concern about the shape of my uterus for a little while, we both passed every single test they did with flying colors.  I finally had a conversation with a nurse, as she gave me my last set of test results over the phone, where she said once again all of the numbers said I was very fertile.  I asked, if that was the case, then why wasn't I pregnant yet?  She said there was a possibility that we were dealing with "unexplained infertility," and that I should make an appointment to meet with the doctor and see what would come next.

Was Kate going through all this at the same time as me?  I don't know.  Listening to an announcer this morning on the news, he theorized that Will and Kate intentionally waited until the Queen's Diamond Jubilee was out of the way, and then until the home they will be moving into in April was in good shape.  But he made it sound like getting pregnant is the equivalent of turning on a light switch -- and, as you can tell, it's not always that easy.  Perhaps they were waiting, maybe they were also counting days and using ovulations kits, or perhaps she was going through some of the same tests as me, wondering if she was ever going to have the child that a whole country was waiting for.

Faced with "unexplained infertility," I started to prepare for the worst.  T and I had given ourselves a year to get pregnant, and then we were going to assume that the Universe didn't want us to have kids.  We only had 2 or 3 months left on that deadline.  So I started mentally preparing for it to be just the two of us, and the two dogs, from here on out.

And then my period didn't come.  And when I peed on a stick, two lines appeared.  I called the doctor, who said the pee stick was proof enough, and set up a 10-week prenatal appointment.  This didn't seem like enough proof, so I peed on a second stick, just to be sure.  And then came the weeks of trying to convince myself that I was really pregnant.  I didn't have any morning sickness, just felt extra hungry and tired, and couldn't tell anyone yet, because we wanted to tell my family in person when we were going to see them at Thanksgiving.  We did get to see an ultrasound at the first visit, but it was just a little blob with a flickering heartbeat.  We couldn't even hear the heartbeat, because of its position.  It still wasn't quite real.

We flew to North Carolina for Thanksgiving, and finally told my mom, dad, and sister over dinner.  Everyone started calling friends and family, and suddenly, with the news spreading like wildfire, it started feeling a little bit more real. 

Then, yesterday, I went in for a screening designed to check for spina bifida, Down's syndrome, and a condition known as Trisomy-18.  I told T he didn't need to take the time off work, because we had our regular prenatal appointment on Wednesday, and I thought it was going to be a pretty routine test.  But the ultrasound to check for the baby's nuchal translucency (the thickness of a fold of skin at the back of the neck, used to diagnose Down's syndrome) was far more than I expected.

Right away, there was a little profile on the screen, looking exactly like a baby!  All of my expectations for this came from movies -- mom and dad both look at the screen, holding hands, and then look at each other lovingly.  But in all of those scenes, the baby is just sitting there.  This little one was moving all over the place!  It was kicking and wiggling around, responding to the push of the ultrasound probe.  I could see tiny hands going up to the face, several times.  At one point, it flipped over and turned its back to us, like it was tired of being bothered by the papparazzi.  And while I was lying there, amazed that this little creature was actually inside of me, I didn't have anyone to give that long, significant look to.  It was just me and the tech, who was very friendly, but was pretty matter-of-fact about the whole thing.  She found the heartbeat right away, and for just a few seconds it filled the room.  At the end she took a few pictures and handed them to me, and then we were done.  Once she left, while I waited for the genetic counselor to come back in, I took a picture of the last frame that was showing on the screen with my phone, while trying to keep it together and not cry, and sent it to T at work.  Based on the little blob just a few weeks before, I simply hadn't been prepared for that!

And then I got home, to the news that Kate was pregnant and in the hospital with a severe form of morning sickness.  And there was that little bit of imaginary kinship again.  I'm sorry that she got my morning sickness on top of her own, and I know that she is a few weeks behind me.  But we'll be going through this pregnancy together.  And hopefully she'll have that same sense of absolute wonder the first time she sees her little one dancing around inside her.

And now it's not just real that I'm pregnant, but it's becoming more real that I am having a baby.  I know that sounds like the same thing, but there is a difference in focus -- as someone who is pregnant, the focus is on me.  As someone having a baby, the focus is on it.  And so last night we finally picked a nickname for this little one -- Peanut.

My cell phone pic -- Peanut's profile on the upper left

The Garden Returns

Since the temperatures have begun to drop into the 80s and even sometimes the 70s during the day, our garden has had a bit of a resurgence.  The zucchini has slowed down, but it is still producing a few a day.  The cucumbers have started blooming again and putting out fruit, but it is still very bitter -- I'm not sure how to stop that.  We have a ton of green tomatoes on the vine, and I am pinching blossoms to encourage the existing tomatoes to ripen, which they are doing a little at a time. 

 

In addition to the new produce being put out by the plants, it is finally time to start harvesting the melons and squash I've been keeping an eye on all summer long.  That yellow splotch on top of the honeydew melon is the sign that this fruit is ripe, and it was ripened on the vine.  We cut into it last night, and it was one of the best melons I've ever had -- sweet and succulent.  You could smell the fragrance throughout the kitchen.  I have a smaller melon that I'm letting go just a little bit longer before we harvest it.  And the Hubbards are rock-hard, which is apparently the sign that they are ripe.  I have some on the vine that are just starting right now -- I don't know how they are going to ripen in a few short weeks when these babies sat on the vine all summer, but we'll see how it goes.  We did have some very small heads on the one broccoli plant that didn't get infested with aphids, but they were really bitter too, so I finally pulled it.

 

I think that I'll be baking another mock apple crisp with the zucchini I have right now.  The last one went over really well at work.  This is the recipe I used before, which calls for 8 cups of chopped zucchini and a 9x11 inch pan.  I used some really large zucchini that I had harvested late, thinking that the extra-firm flesh would work well in an apple recipe, and it did.  I'm going to try it again in an 8x8 inch pan, halving the recipe, and with some smaller squash, but I think it should work pretty well.

 

We also got collard greens in our Bountiful Basket this week.  I know the traditional southern version involves stewing them with a ham hock, but I don't have one of those.  Instead, I'm going to try this recipe for pasta with collards and tomato sauce that I have all the ingredients for.  There's still a lot of bacon involved, so I think we'll be in good shape.  *smile*

Good Teachers

I know I'm a little late on my weekend post, but I slacked all day on Saturday (much needed) and then needed to make up for it on Sunday.

Since the Chicago teacher's strike has been in the news, and people have been talking about teaching, I thought I would add my two cents, from the point of view of a teacher at a for-profit professional college.

It seems as though people are looking for an easy way to say, "This student is learning," or "This teacher isn't doing a good job."  They hope that a standardized test can answer those questions clearly and objectively.  If a student does better on a test, then she is learning; if a teacher's students consistently score low on those tests, then he should be dismissed.  But I just don't think it can realistically work that way.

There are many ways to test students, and each student will respond differently to different testing methods.  Some overthink their way through multiple choice, others panic and can't recall information they know when faced with a short answer or essay.  Some students express themselves easily in writing, and others struggle to put their thoughts into words.  So no single, "objective" test that only uses a small set of testing methods can capture all the knowledge that a child, or adult, has understood and absorbed. 

On the other hand, I don't think a single metric can objectively decide whether a teacher is effective.  Could you take a test that would determine whether or not you were a good parent?  Sure, some behaviors like abuse clearly fall into the "bad" category.  But what single behavior guarantees that you are "good"?

I have always taught in a college environment, not in primary schools, so the evaluation methods have been pretty standard.  Look at students' grades to see if a reasonable number are passing, sit in on classes in order to evaluate a teacher's methods in class, and ask students for feedback.  While these three measures can give you an feel for the situation, if you rely on any single measurement by itself, the information you get could misrepresent the instructor's abilities. 

First, if students have not been adequately prepared in prerequisite classes, then failure rates might not be an accurate representation of the teacher's skills.  On the other hand, if the instructor lowers his or her standards, students may pass easily without learning much.

Class evaluations can be inaccurate as well, especially if you are sampling only a portion of a class period.  A teacher may have touched on all the necessary elements of a class, but the observer misses some by only seeing a small window.  Or, conversely, knowing that the observer is present may cause the teacher to change her accustomed methods in order to make a better impression during observation.

Asking students for feedback is, I think, fairly effective over a large sample.  But in any given class, the sample is too small.  Students who are better prepared coming in, who are more interested in the subject, who are more motivated, and therefore who are likely getting the best grades, are most likely to give positive feedback.  Students on the other end of these scales, who do not take personal responsibility for their actions, and therefore are likely getting low grades, are much more likely to be negative.  I know that reading my student feedback as a TA felt like I was facing someone with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder; the messages would often literally alternate, "She sucked!" "She was always really helpful." "She had no idea what she was doing," "I wouldn't have passed the class without her!"

In my particular niche of the educational world, the above three assessment tools are used on instructors, but one trumps them all: the attrition rate.  Teachers who lose a certain percentage of students in a given time period are in big trouble when it comes to holding on to their jobs.  And it doesn't matter if the student dropped only one teacher's class, or dropped out of school completely.  It doesn't matter why they say they dropped.  It doesn't matter if they dropped week 3 or week 10; all that matters is that they are gone.

Yes, I am dealing with a high attrition rate right now at my school.  I have been counselled by my supervisors, and have had to come up with a plan to address these rates.  My supervisors think that I am a good teacher, and always give me positive feedback on my classroom assessments.  I get positive feedback from the students in my classes, and the majority of my students pass.  But in the eyes of the corporate office, I am a problem instructor.

Sometimes there is absolutely nothing I can do to convince a student to stay in my class.  I have had students without health insurance who lose access to the medications that maintain their mental health.  I have had students who struggle with homelessness and drug abuse.  Students who are told they must choose between school and their jobs.  Students who can't afford childcare.  Students who need to leave school to care for an ailing spouse or relative.  Students who change programs mid-term and no longer need to take my class.  My teaching skills have absolutely no effect on those decisions.

Students tell me again and again that they want to take a second class from me, that they in fact specifically ask to be in my class again because they like my teaching style.  Even students who have failed or dropped my class will ask to take it from me again!  This has happened to me multiple times.  To me, that is a better measure of my abilities as a teacher than my attrition rate.  But I guess I shouldn't encourage it, because if the same problem, or even a new one, gets in the way of that student continuing in my class the next time around, then she counts against me twice.  I am put in a position where it is in my best interest to either talk students out of being in my class during the drop period, or trying to convince them to stay, even when they clearly have personal problems that will prevent them from learning the material and passing the class.  That feels more like a "bad teacher" than the alternative.

So here is the bottom line: no one measurement is going to tell you whether or not a teacher is doing a good job, or if a student is learning.  That's why there are so many ways to assess students' and teachers' skills.  If we use a number of them with care over time, eventually we should be able to figure it out.  But just like anything else in school, you are going to need to work hard to make sure you understand what is really going on.

Getting the Wedding on the Wall

T and I have been married a little over two and a half years, and I just finally got our wedding portrait.  It was one of those things that felt like a luxury, that we didn't really NEED, and so I just hadn't gotten around to ordering it.  I finally did order it a few weeks ago, and I managed to find 10 minutes to put it on the wall this weekend.

As a surprise for our first anniversary, my mother also had all of our wedding vows printed on the same paper that we used for our invitations.  That took up several pages, but the last page had our names and wedding date and an Apache wedding blessing that was part of our ceremony, so I framed that page to put under the portrait.

AN APACHE WEDDING BLESSING

 

Now you will feel no rain,

for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

for each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now you are two persons,

but there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,

to enter into the days of your life together,

and may your days be good and long upon the earth.

 

The portrait I picked was in black and white, and the printer had a metallic paper that really adds a nice dimension to the photo.  It also fits with the blessing, since our wedding colors were silver and white.

So here's how it looks on the wall, next to our pictures of family and friends:

The photo is from our first dance. Somehow, I think the pose complements the meaning of the poem.

Maybe in another couple of years I will finally get around to getting my wedding dress cleaned and preserved!

Hunger, Peaches and Leeks

This weekend we rented the movie The Hunger Games.  I thought T would sleep through it; he didn't pay close attention, but he did watch.  I think the movie was just fine -- not awful, but not spectacular.  Since so much of the book is driven by Katniss's internal thoughts, I knew it was going to be difficult to get much of the drama across.  I'm not even sure how clear it was to viewers that she is initially playing along with the lovebird storyline for the sake of survival, then begins to actually feel something for Peeta, and finally comes home unsure of her feelings for both Peeta and Gale. They also tamed down quite a bit of the horror of the Games, making the psychological impacts of the experience much less obvious.  I mean, in Hollywood, people kill each other all the time, so why should this girl be scarred for life?  The horrific tracker-jacker hallucinations about Glimmer are gone, I never got the impression that either Kat or Peeta were truly close to death, the creepiness of the Mutts mirroring the personalities of the other contestants is left out -- I don't think they even come off as that scary -- and, finally, Cato's torture is cut mercifully short.  I understand this was probably done for the sake of getting a larger audience of kids, and I don't typically complain that my movies aren't violent enough, but those experiences are the ones that continue to haunt Katniss through the remaining books, so it seems as though you need to get those ideas across somehow.

The actual casting was pretty good, in my opinion.  Rue wasn't much of an actress, but she was so young and was given such a small part, that is forgiveable.  Haymitch should have been a lot heavier than Woody Harrelson, but he does a good job in the role.  I feel like Katniss was cast well, since she is supposed to be a girl with a short temper who doesn't emote well, but Peeta should have been more classically tall, blonde and handsome -- they got the nice guy part right, but not the gorgeous-and-he-doesn't-know-it part.  All in all, however, it was a decent movie adaptation of a decent book.  MUCH better than the Twilight series attempts.

That night, I made my first ever peach cobbler.  We got a case of peaches along with our basket last week, and since I'm not a big fan of the fuzzy little guys, T has been having a hard time keeping up with them.  I found Paula Dean's recipe which was quick and easy.  The hardest part was blanching, peeling, and slicing the buggers, and that wasn't even that hard.  You melt butter in a big baking dish, pour in a very simple batter (I looked up online how to turn all-purpose flour into self-rising, by adding the right amounts of baking soda and salt), then you put the peaches on top and bake.  I pulled it out of the oven just before bed, and we had it for breakfast.  It was a little too sweet for my tastes, and a bit gooey, but T said he liked it, and that's what really counts.

The other high point of the weekend was a batch of potato leek soup, made by yours truly this afternoon, another first for me.  We got a pair of fat and lovely leeks in our Bountiful Basket this week, along with some gorgeous white potatoes, so it was a natural choice.  I got the recipe out of our trusty Joy of Cooking, and it was also quite simple.  I only had 2 leeks, so I tried to halve the recipe, but then I sliced too many potatoes, so I guessed on the volumes for everything.  I sweated the sliced leeks in butter for about 20 min, then added the thin-sliced potatoes, 4 cups of water (enough to cover the potatoes), and the appropriate amount of Better Than Bouillon chicken stock base.  That should have simmered for about 30 min., although in my case it was longer, because it took me a while to realize the "low" setting on my electric stove didn't sustain an actual simmer.  Then I added some salt and black pepper, and threw it in the blender to puree (just like a Top Chef!,  I was thinking to myself,  If only I had an immersion blender...).  The stroke of genius was topping it with bacon crumbles -- not in the recipe, but it definitely put it over the top!  It was good enough for T to have 2 bowls, and it disappeared too quickly for pics.  I may actually have to buy some leeks if they don't show up in our basket again.

We had a party!

This weekend, to celebrate Memorial Day, we had a barbecue at our house.  We invited four couples and their kids -- a first grader, three toddlers, a one year old, and two infants.  We managed to score a patio set on clearance, and stocked up on food and drinks.  Unfortunately, we still didn't have any toys for the kids to play with, but we did have two very cute dogs, and they would have to do.

Cara was fascinated by the babies -- she sniffed them when they arrived, followed them around as they scooted along the patio, and ran over to give them kisses when they fell down and cried.  Diezel was generally happy to be petted and hugged, and he spent a lot of time chasing shadows and flashies.

For the spread, we had chips and salsa, and a warm artichoke spinach dip in a bread bowl to start.  Then I grilled chicken marinated in Italian dressing, and marinated steak.  I also grilled asparagus and corn on the cob, and made macaroni salad.  Our guests brought roasted potatoes, a great Greek salad, and three different, delicious pies.  It was really delicious!

I forgot to take pictures,
so here are some strangers playing cornhole

It was our first time having people over to the house since we moved in, and we had a really good time.  It was nice getting to know some of the people T works with now a little more, and it was also great getting to catch up with old friends that he used to work with.  The kids managed to stay entertained by running races, coloring, and playing games that were brought from home.  One of the guests brought a beanbag toss game called cornhole -- no, I'm not kidding -- to keep the guys amused too.

Now we have a lot of leftover food, and even more leftover beer.  We also have a box of Capri Sun juice boxes and some fruit rollups.  I remember them being better when I was a kid, but oh well.  It was so much fun, I think we're going to need to have another barbecue sometime soon!

Zucchini Flowers

School is depressing right now -- too many students missing too many classes, not doing their assignments if they do come, not paying attention to the directions, and in a few cases, cheating, has me depressed.  I'm starting to wonder if assigning less homework would mean I would get more turned in.

But the garden is doing pretty well.  The zucchini blossoms are beautiful, and we have honeydew melons and hubbard squash that are getting close to harvest time.  Our cucumbers are really bitter, though -- I have to read up on what might be causing that.  Too little water?

Anyway, for now, here are some pictures for you to enjoy.



Zucchini blossoms

I wish I had the guts to try frying these -- I hear they are an Italian delicacy!

A bee doing her job

Honeydew hiding

Hubbard with squash blossoms

Chocolate zucchini bread!

I think I may have mentioned on here once or twice that we kinda have zucchini coming out our ears right now.  So I knew I needed to start looking up more zucchini recipes, when all of a sudden I remembered the existence of zucchini bread, and even better, chocolate zucchini bread!  It seemed like a great way to 1) get rid of a bunch of zucchini, and 2) bring some of it to work in a form that would be highly likely to be eaten.

I surfed around a bit online, and came upon this recipe, which looked perfect: not only did it promise to use more zucchini per batch than most, I also had all the necessary ingredients in the pantry, since I used up all our oil making tempura zucchini a week ago, and this recipe calls for melted butter instead of oil.

I was very excited about the prospect of using 4 cups of zucchini, but then I realized the recipe was for 2 loaves, and we only own one loaf pan -- so I'd only be able to use 2 cups at a time.  In fact, I grated a single zucchini that had stayed on the plant a little too long, which made the full 2 cups, so I didn't use quite as many as I'd hoped, but no matter how many individual squash I end up using in a batch, it still means there are less in the fridge!

I screwed up the first batch by not reading the directions carefully -- I forgot that the sugar doesn't go with the dry ingredients, it gets creamed with the eggs, so I had to toss one batch of dry ingredients.  This recipe also gave me an excuse to use the Kitchenaid mixer I got as a wonderful wedding gift from my aunt, that mostly collects dust on the counter.

When all was said and done, we had a lovely, dark loaf of chocolate cake that was hiding a ton of shredded zucchini inside:

Now, I used some cocoa powder I had on hand, which didn't specifically say bittersweet, so it felt like it needed a little punch -- the original recipe says chocolate chips are unnecessary, but I think they could have improved this loaf.  They were right about how moist it is, though -- dense and chewy, even 2 days later.  I found that ours got a little extra zing by spreading a little Brummel & Brown margarine on it, because the salty spread really compliments the sweet chocolate bread.  This was an easy, quick recipe, and I will definitely be making it again.