1) Pregnant bellies are much more sensitive than non-pregnant bellies. This simply never occurred to me. I figured a belly was a belly. However, when you gain weight, and your belly gets bigger, the additional weight is mostly located on the outside of the abdominal wall. When you are pregnant, all of the increase is happening inside the abdominal wall -- which means that, when you press on that belly, you are pressing the baby right up against your internal organs. It's not like pressing against a regular belly, that has the usual amount of room between those organs. So being able to sleep on my stomach, or wear too-tight jeans, has a completely different dimension of discomfort to it than I had previously expected. And speaking of internal organs...
2) Developing babies kick in all directions. Again, simply something that hadn't occurred to me before. I tended to think of kicks being aimed exclusively outward, towards the abdominal wall. Sure, I had heard of babies kicking their moms in the bladder in the later stages of pregnancy, but my little one actually spent day 2 of noticeable kicking using my bladder as a speed bag for about half an hour. It wasn't disastrous, but it was certainly uncomfortable. And since then, I have been kicked in the bowels, in various other organs, and, most uncomfortably, in the cervix. Yes, the baby can kick downward and hit that very sensitive body part from the inside -- a distinct and exceptionally uncomfortable sensation.
3) Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions commonly begin as early as the seventh month of your pregnancy. I had heard of Braxton-Hicks, but only in association with the last week or two of pregnancy -- I had no idea that your uterus can start "practicing" for the big show three whole months before the baby is due. The connection between these contractions and giving birth was so strong in my mind, when the doctor identified what I had experienced in these terms, I felt like suddenly we were completely out of time and the baby would be here next week, which sent me into a complete panic for a few days. I've (mostly) gotten over than now, but that reality check definitely kicked our preparations into high gear.
4) Along with increased gas production comes a decreased ability to sneak one discretely. I have mentioned the fact that, along with everything else horrible your hormones do to you when you're pregnant, one of them is increase the amout of gas your body produces. As a girl, I was a pro at either holding gas in indefinitely, or silently passing it little at a time. No longer. I have no idea if it's a matter of higher internal pressures, changes in external anatomy, or a loosening of the sphincter that comes along with the loosening of joints and whatnot, but it is much more difficult to manage my gas quietly these days. Which is unfortunate, since I have to spend a signifiant amount of my days presenting in front of a class for 50 minutes at a time, where I can't simply slip out to the restroom for some privacy. Last week, I had two audible toots escape during the first hour of class, despite my best efforts; thank goodness my students were willing to follow my lead and act as through absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened. (And, finally, the training I received in Kyrgyzstan to show absolutely no reaction when little boys threw whipper-snapper fireworks at my feet came in handy again!)
5) You will never in your life be asked so frequently and by so many people, "How are you feeling?" As a woman, I fear that I have been amiss in not constantly asking the pregnant woman I have been in contact with how they were feeling. For that, I apologize. I simply didn't understand that the symptoms of pregnancy become an overwhelming preoccupation. Even now, I'm not sure that I completely empathize with the sentiment, as I have been extraordinarily lucky so far and have managed to escape many of the discomforts of pregnancy. At first, I found it somewhat annoying to be asked how I felt all the time, since I clearly felt just fine. Then, I began to feel guilty, since I still clearly felt just fine. Now I am prepared for the question, and I feel grateful that I can still answer, "Good!" I also hedge my bets by letting everyone know that, while I have been very, very lucky so far, I am sure that I will pay for it later on. Whether that payment comes due during labor, the terrible twos, or the teenaged years, I am sure that I will somehow have to pay heftily for an almost complete lack of morning sickness, and the ability to stay in my pre-pregnancy jeans until almost the end of my sixth month.
6) Maternity clothes suck. Despite the fact that I live in the state with the highest birth rate in the entire US, it is incredibly difficult to find maternity clothes. You are lucky to find 2 or 3 racks of clothes in the maternity section, with 2 styles of pants and 5 or 6 styles of shirts, assuming the store that you are in even HAS a maternity section. And they do cruel things like putting it next to the petites section, or, hilariously, right next to the prom dresses. And to add insult to injury, even in discount stores, the clothes in the maternity section are never discounted, meaning you pay an arm and a leg for clothes that have a limited window to be worn. (Although, it has been pointed out to me that I will need to keep wearing those maternity clothes for several months after giving birth, another point I had not really considered before, so the window won't be quite as short as I had imagined.) As for comfort, if you opt for full-coverage like I did, the top of the pants come up to your armpits, while the belly panel is cut so low it starts at your crotch, so you are forced to wear maternity shirts with them, because other shirts simply aren't cut long enough to preserve the illusion that you are wearing mormal jeans. In my case, I also need a belly band to keep my pants from slipping down, which means another layer of elastic over my belly, and then, in our chilly March weather, a long shirt under a sweater. The pants are constantly slipping down and taking my underwear with them, but I need to pull them up from the armpits, while simultaneously tugging my shirts down to ensure full belly coverage. I wish the weather and my job would allow me to walk around with a few inches of cute, pregnant belly hanging out, but that's simply out of the question. The whole process is so annoying, I have started only wearing real pants when I need to leave the house, and living in pajama bottoms and yoga pants the rest of the time.
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| Shopping for maternity clothes! |
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